The Modern Alpha Male.

For the next thirty seconds picture in your head an Alpha Male.

What did you see, in the wild and in long past human civilisations the alpha male was the strongest male in the pack, the most dominant one of all the group. Rivals would jostle for position in the group, members would do battle and to the victor went the spoils.

Was that the kind of alpha male you saw? Translate that into today's culture, is the leader of your social group and the groups around you the biggest or the strongest, does he have a penchant for violence? If you're reading this and you're still in high school then I will make an exception, but for the rest of you it should be obvious that this is not the case.

So if you typed the phrase “Alpha Male” into Google looking to become the former kind, you're damn out of luck son.

The modern adult alpha male looks like this, he is a good guy, very sociable, quite sporty, calm, confident, collected and charismatic. He is a leader yes but a social leader. He has probably never been in a fight in his life. Now if you still want to be like the first guy I can't help you but go back to google and there will be plenty of people who say that they can. If you want to be like the modern alpha male, I'm afraid its pretty hard, but in truth you want it be hard. Because if you have an unprecedented drive to improve yourself and take the time to learn and grow as a man enough to succeed. Then you can rest assured that there are very few people who will have enough determination to rival you.

First realise that this is a life long thing, you will never wake up and the work be over, because this is what it means to be so great. To never stop improving and to never lose that desire to get better in yourself. Second realise that you find you're own way. I was once on a forum and one of the posters recommended a book called “Four Hour Work Week”, by an Author called Tim Ferris. I read that in one week and in the pages in referenced a writer called Seth Godin, he lead me the Malcolm Gladwell, he lead me to a blog by Leo Batabuta, which led me to a blog called “The Art of Non-Conformity” which lead to a book by on world travel by Rolf Potts, which lead back to Tim Ferris, all of whom taught me so much and all of whom I would say have dramatically influenced the kind of man I am today.

(All the above I recommend so highly but again this was my path.)

My point is that when you open yourself up to it you will find your mentors, you will find your teachers they are all around you, look for the little links between men who you think of as great thinkers or great achievers, read their books, watch their videos, try to capture their mindset, try to incorporate their view point of the world and make it your own. Something they did worked, find out what it was and use it!

As I've already said we are social beings now and if you want be a modern alpha male, the social front is the one you will most have to conquer and it is the one that you will probably find the hardest. You'll need help and don't ever be afraid or shy to ask for it, one of the major skills you have to learn if you want to be efficient with your time is how to find the best teacher.

Malcolm Galdwell is undoubtedly the best in his field, he is the author all the other authors reference back to, in 2009 Gladwell released “Outliers” a book about the stats, science and turns of fate behind success. In the same year four similar books where written by various authors all of which reference for Gladwell's research. Including Matthew Syed who in his book “Bounce” references Gladwell's work on page 9, 16, 17, 18, 140 and 143. Gladwell is the alpha male of this particular field.

Now if you look at all of the hundreds of self help books out their that deal with improving socially. It won't take you long before you seen enough references to the work of Dale Carnegie and “How To Win Friends and Influence People” that you know who the Alpha of this particular group of thinkers is. Despite the fact that this book was first publicised in 1937, it is the 20 years plus of research that went into this book that make in the reference point for ever social self help book written since. Find you're teachers! Go to those who are the leaders in their field.

Now importantly I am not saying don't read anything but these leaders. Self development is like building a skyscraper the stronger the foundations the higher you can build. So get the strongest foundations you can when you start go straight to the source, then you'll find that your understanding of the later lessons you'll learn in life is so much clearer.

Test yourself, if some of these things sound like big steps good. This is how you grow, from now on look out for that feeling you get when you think something might be outside your comfort zone. Observe what those things are. For me today it was stood next to a really power motorcycle knowing that I would not have a single idea how not to die if I got on that thing. It is so far outside my comfort zone, but again I can start small build up my foundations, invest some time and effort and one day that thing that seemed so beyond me could be a huge part of who I am. And the confidence that comes with overcoming that fear, there is nothing like it. Look for the things that scare you and go after them.

Have Fun.

I have put forward a lot of my recommendations here for all the blogs and books I think will make a difference in peoples lives. They made a difference in mine.

Please if something have made a impact, making you a better person suggest in the comment section below.